Movie Review | "This Means War"

This movie could've just as easily been called "This Means: Score!"

Reese Witherspoon has a new movie out this weekend. Which usually means "romantic comedy." Which also usually means "chick flick." Which also means this movie could be terrible.

Lately, whenever I think of romantic comedies, the first movie that pops into my head is "New Years Eve." And that movie was so bad, it almost turned me off from movies altogether. I mean, it's been two months, one week, and one day since it was released, and I can still taste the vomit in my mouth. I'm not lying, that movie almost killed me.

But, fortunately for me (and for you) I am not reviewing "New Years Eve" today (I've reviewed it once already, and it took an eight hour acid bath to wash the stink off of me. It...just...kept...lingering!!!).

Today, I'll be reviewing a wonderful action, thriller, rom-comedy called "This Means War."

What do you get when you put three deliciously attractive vessels, who - mind you - can also act, into a "love-triangle" themed film? I'll tell you what you get... you get a deliciously wonderful film called "This Means War."

The film stars America's sweetheart, Reese Witherspoon, along with two powerful young male leads named Chris Pine and Tom Hardy. These three actors make the movie. But we'll get to them after I accidently tell you WAY TOO MUCH of the plot.

Two best friends and CIA agents, F.D.R. and Tuck (Pine and Hardy respectively) are out doing their job catching criminals, when somehow, in an interesting series of events, they end up (unknowingly at first) dating the same girl, Lauren Scott (Witherspoon).

Once they find out that they're both dating the same girl, it's game on. May the best man win! They create a contest where whoever Lauren ends up choosing, the other must back off and "let love rule," as Lenny Kravitz would say.

Remember now, these two are CIA agents, so they have access to many of the spy gadgets that us normal stalkers out here in the real world would never be able to get our hands on. This makes for knee-slapping hilarity. They "bug" houses, spy on the girl, spy on each other, and basically break every law that the Patriot Act was created for... and this is funny.

It also is quite heartwarming. These three aren't just actors going through the motions. They all make you feel that they are falling in love. 

Let's talk about the actors.

We all know Reese Witherspoon. Move over Julia Roberts, Reese is truly the new sweetheart of the silver screen. With headlining credits in films like "Pleasantville," "Walk the Line," and "Legally Blonde," this cutie-petootie is easily one of the most bankable actresses out there.

Now let's talk about men.

Chris Pine may be a newcomer to some of you. But to the professional movie geek like myself, I've been waiting for him to really break out. He was in a film six years ago called "Smokin' Aces" and I thought to myself "he just may have IT." Then I saw him star opposite Lindsay Lohan in "Just My Luck" and I thought he carried that film (don't get me wrong, I liked Lohan too, and the movie was good, but you could just tell that he could act). And finally, he was Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the starship U.S.S. Enterprise in the newest "Star Trek" film... and he was out of this world!

And then there is Tom Hardy. This is my go-to guy for action movies. I think this Brit will have a long career in the movie biz. He's been in three movies that I totally love: "RocknRolla," "Inception," and this year's Oscar snub, "Warrior" (it deserved a "best picture" nod). Either way, he'll be bone-crushing as "Bane" is this year's GIGANTIC blockbuster, "The Dark Knight Rises." Keep an eye on this cat.

I don't want to burn anyone so I must quickly say that Chelsea Handler was also in this film and, although I'm not a huge fan of her yet, she was quite funny.

And McG directed it. And he did well (just like he did with "Terminator: Salvation). Good job McG.

So guys, take your girl to this movie. You'll both enjoy it. And if you don't want to take your girl, let me take her... Thank you.

Fun Fact: Reese Witherspoon uses the word "finite" in this movie... This is the second time she has used that word in a movie. She also used it in the court scene in "Legally Blonde."

Another Fun Fact: Chris Pine is hit in the neck with a drug-filled syringe in this movie... This is the second time he has been hit in the neck with a syringe in a movie. He was also stuck with one by Bones on the Enterprise in "Star Trek."

Fun Matty Fact: Boy am I a FREAKIN' GEEK for noticing all these useless pieces of information! Just trying to let you get a glimpse of what's going on in my brain while I sit in the theatre.

Michelle February 22, 2012 at 04:36 PM
Could not agree more with this review! I've read SO MANY bad reviews and I'm wondering who all those dull people are! I didn't want to see the sappy "The Vow", so I opted for this movie instead. I was totally surprised at how funny it was (I laughed out loud several times!) and it kept me engaged the entire time!
Matty W. Kelley March 09, 2012 at 04:52 AM
It was a good movie Michelle... Good call! We know a good movie when we see one. Thanks for reading the review.


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