I don't know how many times I have heard "they keep you young" about having small children. That's a load of crap. On the contrary most days I feel really old. The energy level in 3 young boys is astounding. I can barely keep up. I usually don't even try. Come 3 o'clock everyday I would give my left arm for a long nap. The kind of nap where you pull down the shades and you actually get in your bed under the blankets and possibly drool. A nap where when you wake up it's dark outside, and you just want a big fat sandwich because you are starving like a bear coming out of hibernation. But alas, this is not possible in mom world. Homework, dinner, baths and of course a bedtime story or board game is ahead. (Must...keep...going).Then it hits me: Caffeine. I need it. I mean I really, really need it. With the help of my caffeinated friends I will be able to get to that magical hour of bedtime, where the house gets quiet and I can sit. Oh to sit...So this is the course of my day to day...I wake up to that first wonderful cup, drink it like it's ice cold water and I am stranded in a desert, and I am ready. Ready to race around for the next 2 hours until the kids are off to school. No problem there. Dishes, laundry, making beds, dressing kids...done! Just before lunch I am ready for more. Let's keep this train going. I throw in more laundry, get dinner started early, straighten up the living room...blah, blah, blah...great job. Lot's done. But I need to sit. Just for 10 minutes I tell myself. It's 3...bus will be coming soon and the last leg of my motherhood journey will begin. But all I want to do is lie down on the floor. Actually I think I have more than once. Max, my 1 year old then mistakes me for a jungle gym so it kind of defeats the purpose of the action...anyway, how about a nice cup of tea.So Monday it dawns on me. I am addicted. Completely in need of caffeine rehab.I quit. I am getting off the train. I quit because I am tired of feeling tired. I quit because I now realize that I am approaching the age where my well being matters. I quit because my kids deserve a mom with energy. Real energy. Life energy. Good positive healthy energy. For too long I have put myself last. I survive, instead of thrive. If I am going to give my kids the best life they can have, don't I need to live my best life first?I quit for me and in so doing I quit for them. Now where is that advil?
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