While I dread the media blitz which always accompanies an election year, I have to admit that, every once in awhile, there’s a moment which not only rates high on the entertainment-value scale but also unintentionally provides fodder for humor/opinion columnists who are, let’s face it, chronically short on original ideas. This time around, it was former Massachusetts governor and frontrunner for the GOP presidential nomination, Mitt Romney.  When asked, during a televised debate, how he intended to tackle the problem of illegal immigration, without ordering the mass deportation of said …

I was both surprised and saddened to learn that a longstanding retail tradition is in real danger of going the way of the dinosaur, apparently sacrificed to appease an  ever-voracious bottom line. In a recent Bloomberg News report, I learned that super-retailer, Wal-Mart, has decided that the position of “greeter,” a 30-year tradition, is deemed no longer necessary during the so-called “off-peak” hours of 10pm to 3am, and thus has been eliminated during those hours of operation.  While I seldom had occasion to throw a raincoat over my P.J.s and traipse out to whichever local Wal-Mart might …

Since it’s January and I’ve shoveled snow at least twice, it seems appropriate that I revert to my annual tradition of wishing I were in Florida or some other snowless landscape. At least for the duration of the season. I do this every year like clockwork, even though, in my heart of hearts, I know that it’s nothing more than wishful thinking. I realize that if it were an actual personal goal, to move to the Sunshine State, I would’ve, long ago, made the trek southward. I suspect that it’s simply a case of the grass looking greener elsewhere, especially in winter when grass is a sparse …

I have no fashion sense and I’m not afraid to admit it.  After all, I’m well beyond an age where I feel the need to earn the approval of my peers in regard to what’s hanging in my closet or, for that matter, from my decidedly un-athletic frame. Most of the time, I’m more than happy to conduct my business in a favored pair of blue jeans and sweat shirt. For formal occasions, I might add a blue-jean jacket and perhaps forego the jeans with the patch, which has been strategically placed to maintain some semblance of decency, for a newer and less-threadbare pair. Of course, when I say “newer,” I …

I’m almost afraid to mention it, but where the heck is the snow? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m hoping we’ll get slammed by Mother Nature, but it makes me slightly uneasy that, well past New Year’s day, we’re still waiting.  I mean, what’s a winter in New England if you can’t complain about the weather? Sure, it’s an election year, so we’ll have something to grumble about, but it’s not quite the same, is it?  I’m even beginning to think that all that talk about global warming might be true, although I also have a sneaky suspicion that there’s something more sinister going on here. …

Those pesky Mayans.  If it weren’t for them and their stupid calendar, I’d be ringing in the new year with the same misguided optimism that I apply to every new year. But no, not in 2012. You see, our Mayan friends decided long ago that life as we know it would only extend to the 2012 winter solstice and then that’s it. Forget-about-it. Done. Close up shop. Tha-tha-that’s all folks. Depending upon your own personal belief system, on December 21, 2012 we: a) will no longer exist b) we will exist but wish we didn’t c) we will become transformed into a better human being d) we will be extremely …

Another Christmas has passed and, alas, I have no reason to temper my animosity towards the guy in the red suit.  I've always suspected that someone that jolly was bound to have a dark side and these past few years have only served to strengthen that belief. You see, Santa holds a grudge. I know this from personal experience. Although it was many years ago that I, in my reckless youth, decided to take on the legend himself, it seems the big guy still hasn't forgiven me.  Sure, you could argue that I knew full well that the cookies were meant for him, but really, I was only seven, or eight at …

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s surprises. Call it a character flaw if you will, but I like to know exactly what I’m dealing with, especially when it comes to my wallet and the contents thereof. What I’m referring to is the nasty habit that a lot of businesses subscribe to these days. That of adding so-called “hidden charges” to your invoice, expecting that you’re just simply too lazy to read the fine print. While I won’t publicly admit to being lazy, I will admit that, at my advanced age, reading print of any size is not as easy as it once was, with my vision having regressed from near-…

Nobody’s asked me, but I think I’ve come up with several solutions to the U.S. Postal Service’s financial woes. In case you haven’t heard, they’re in dire straits, to the point that they’re considering closing roughly half of their distribution centers to save a few bucks. This, of course, will likely mean a delay in getting anything that wears a stamp in the upper right hand corner from point A to point B with any kind of efficiency.And this is only the beginning. Also under consideration is the termination of Saturday deliveries.  Oh, and there’ll be a price increase on postage stamps come …

Because I’m not much of a gambler, I haven’t really been following the news surrounding Massachusetts’ decision to allow three gaming facilities to be located in the land of the Puritans (of all places).  However, now that there’s the likelihood that one such complex may land in my back yard, so to speak, I’m giving the situation my undivided attention.  Living within driving distance of both Foxborough and Milford, two communities rumored to be in the running for a Vegas-style makeover, has me re-assessing my previous non-committal views on the situation.  Lawmakers would have you believe …

In an effort to slightly trim the federal budget, President Barack Obama implemented a program called “SAVE,” which encourages federal employees to submit their cost-cutting ideas in a yearly nation-wide competition. The winner for 2011 was NASA financial planner Matthew Ritsko, who will be rewarded with a trip to the White House to personally receive a commendation from the commander-in-chief. One only hopes that the cost of the reward is substantially less than the amount of savings that Matthew’s idea will produce.  Ritsko, in a “Hello?” moment, suggested the creation of a federal “lending…

Thanksgiving, for the majority of us, is a much anticipated holiday, providing a guilt-free zone for the calorie conscious. We happily overload our plates and overstuff our bellies, all in the name of giving thanks for the bountiful gifts which have been bestowed upon us.  There is, however, a dark side to this otherwise festive time of year.  Just ask any turkey.  Tom: Thanksgiving? If you ask me, it ought to be outlawed. It’s just dreadful. Me: So, you’re anti-Thanksgiving? Tom: I’m a turkey, what do you think? Me: And a talking turkey at that. I mean, what are the odds, right? Tom: Of …

Why can’t they design a better leaf? You know, one that disposes of itself come fall. As far as I can tell, the current configuration works well enough for two out of three seasons. In autumn, though, the design flaws really emerge. I should know. I have thousands of problem leaves sitting in my yard, just waiting for me to haul them away.  Some of them aren’t even my leaves. Besides not having the decency to remain on the tree (where they belong), they’ve even got the audacity to travel once they‘ve hit the ground. Unfortunately for me, my yard seems to be the destination of choice for a …

Apparently, there are a bunch of people who are not too happy with economic conditions of late and are protesting the ever-widening gap between the “have"s and the “have-nots” by “occupying” tracts of land in major cities across the country. Here in the “land of opportunity,” these working-class protesters find themselves closer to bankruptcy than solvency, while the rich get richer and the super-rich get, well, pretty much anything they want. Since there’s not a lot of “occupying” going on here locally, I set off to find someone involved in this we-the-people-esque movement to find out …

I read some great news today.  It appears that the jobless rate in Massachusetts has decreased by a whopping .1 percent, according to a Massachusetts Executive Office of Labor and Workforce Development (MEOLW) press release.  You’ll be ecstatic to know that unemployment figures compiled for September come in at a lowly 7.3 percent, which is, I think you’ll agree, a major improvement over August’s dismal 7.4 percent. If that’s not cause for celebration, I don’t know what is. But wait — before you spend the last of your savings in wild celebration over this great news, you’ll have to temper …

I’m still reeling from the news that one of my childhood haunts, Friendly’s Ice Cream, is in serious trouble. Granted, there’s still a pulse, but the corporate parent has opted to lop off a good 12 percent of itself in an effort to save the patient from ultimately going belly-up. It reminds me of the unfortunate hiker who was faced with the horrendous decision to amputate an arm in order to survive. At last count, 63 of the nearly 500 Friendly’s locations have been shuttered, as Sun Capital Partners are consolidating operations in a Chapter 11 bankruptcy filing.  I blame myself, in part, for …

Though the Red Sox were left disappointed that this year’s edition, dubbed “the best team ever,” somehow turned into the “best team never” down the home stretch, I find myself amazed at the fact that they never saw it coming. After all, this version of the hometown nine, (or hometown 25 to be precise) finished off the season much like they started it, with woefully inept baseball.  Yet — and I’m almost certain of this — the string of sell-outs at Fenway Park will no doubt continue when the team takes to the field once again, next April.  The fact that management has already publicly admitted …

The most recent example of governmental bungling to hit the news left me amused, infuriated and yet somewhat in awe of the fed’s creativity when it comes to throwing away my hard-earned money. Apparently, over the past five years, our brain trust in Washington has paid out in excess of $600 million in retirement benefits to deceased Federal employees. Mind you, this is in addition to payments doled out to unretired employees, who only perform as if deceased. U.S. Inspector General Patrick McFarland was the guy who discovered the financial faux pas and immediately told the Office of Personnel …

The economy remains stagnant, jobs are hard to come by and the cost of… well, everything… seems to be on the rise. Is it any wonder that only 12 percent of Americans are satisfied with our elected officials in Congress? That’s the number that a New York Times/CBS News telephone poll came up with when they recently asked voters to rate the job performance of the current crop of lawmakers, which, begs the obvious question: “What were those 12 percent thinking?” The uber-partisan climate in Washington, which has hamstrung important legislation and prolonged the misery of the electorate, vaguely …

We have the Yellow Pages, White Pages and Business-To-Business directories, so it’s reasonable to assume that somewhere out there is a Book of Morons.  You know what I mean, a list of those people who supposedly can’t wait to hear pre-recorded sales pitches designed to deliver “special deals,” which have been crafted specifically for them and them alone.  Now, whether this particular book actually exists or not is open to debate, but apparently there are advertising companies out there who have succeeded in convincing their clients that there is such a list and, “If we call them, they will …